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Nowadays, many young women decide to have a child without being married, either because that is their decision or because shortly before marriage their relationship broke down.
There are millions of single-parent families across Europe and America, and they are doing very well.
Being the backbone of a single-parent family is extremely difficult, even heroic.
When, among other things, you are a woman, a fact that in itself attracts unfavorable comments or vicious criticism from the conservative social environment, then the bet of balancing the multiple roles you have undertaken with success and respect for yourself and your beloved ones is challenging!
How to Be a Successful Single Mom with a Baby
By definition, perfect indicates that there is no room for further improvement.
Also, a perfect parent expects their children to be perfect and this can lead to conflict and frustration on both sides.
The perfect parent does not consider failure to be part of learning, so they will project this on their children, thus “sabotaging” their self-esteem.
A parent who tries to improve through their mistakes sets the right example as a role model for their children.
- Love yourself
- Express your unconditional love to your child
- The role of mom is the most difficult, but with the most beautiful reward
- Do not live through your child
- Your child wants to see you happy
- The happiness of the parents is projected on the children. A permanently grieving parent will cultivate a sense of guilt in their child.
Remember that a successful mom makes mistakes, but the best mama is not the perfect one.
Do not be strict with yourself.
It is not the perfection in the details that makes you wonder, but the perfection in the heart of the mother who loves her child unconditionally, gives them her attention, her affection, and many hugs.
Your child does not expect you to be perfect.
Know What Benefits you Qualify for as a Single Mom
Every American citizen can easily find the current benefits he is entitled to through the Benefits.gov website.
More precisely, you can apply for the following benefits you qualify for as a single mother:
- Unemployment Benefits for single mothers (State Unemployment Insurance Office)
- Food Stamp Benefits for single mothers (online application form, local SNAP Office to apply in person)
- Welfare or Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (local TANF office to apply for financial help)
- Medical Benefits for single mothers (State Healthcare Office in your area)
Recommended read: 16 Side Hustles For Working Single Moms to Earn Extra Money
Learn How To Budget and Save Money
Once you know how financially viable you are, you can determine if you will be able to afford it once your baby is born.
If your income is low, it’s the right time to cut back on your monthly expenses.
First of all, consider the fixed costs about those that may not be necessary.
Fixed expenses are the same every month, such as rent or mortgage, car insurance, or some for your health.
Other expenses vary each month and while some are necessary such as the supermarket or a visit to the doctor, others such as travel and entertainment are not.
Then it’s a good idea to cut back on the extra costs where you can.
For example, prepare your food at home if you used to eat out often.
And as beautiful as it is, do not overdo it with shopping for your baby.
Do not forget to consider the cost of your phone, landline, and mobile, or some subscriptions that you may have and are not necessary.
Any monthly expenses that you can limit will be a big help later.
The sooner you adjust to a new monthly budget, the easier it will be to build a savings cushion for your baby.
I found these free printable budget worksheets that are super easy to start with here.
Stock Up On Supplies for You and Baby
The key to preparing for your baby’s arrival is to know very well what you are spending now, without your baby.
It is also important to calculate the expenses when the baby arrives, do not forget anything, from the diapers, crib, milk (if you’re not breastfeeding) but also their food after weaning.
Here is a list with some helpful links to Amazon’s more affordable supplies (under $25) for baby (and my favorites)
Gear (under $70)
- Car seat (if its under $50 GRAB IT)
Create and Stick to A Routine
The truth is that for the word “routine” to be successfully reintegrated into your vocabulary, it will take a few weeks after the baby is born.
Recommended read: How to Start and Maintain a Daily Routine for Your Newborn
In the beginning, the meals should follow the needs of the baby and, consequently, be done whenever he asks.
The ideal time to start implementing a related program is during the third month of its life.
By then, likely, a kind of routine has already been established in his diet, in the sense that mealtimes are now relatively constant or have a fixed time interval between them.
When your baby’s needs and the watch disagree, you should take the child’s side.
So, if one day he gets hungry faster than mealtime or falls asleep earlier than bedtime, just feed him or put him to sleep when he wants to.
Adapting to a routine will take time, and until then it is important to learn to read the warning signs of your newborns desires, such as fatigue, hunger, or irritability.
Get your baby used to the early sleep routine
Once you have a regular bedtime, you will be able to easily organize your daily schedule.
Of course, it is not possible to do this right away, but after two months you can start applying it.
A warm bath, pajamas, his milk, and then turn off the lights.
At first, your newborn may fall asleep drinking his milk in your arms but after 4 months it is good to put him in his crib awake and to sleep alone.
Teach your baby the difference between day and night
Many babies confuse day with night, so they sleep all day and wake up as soon as the sun goes down!
During the day you have the house bright. \
At night low light and quiet.
Do not talk to them too much during dinner.
Help them understand that the night is for them to sleep and the day for them to play.
If you need some ideas on what to do with your newborn all day here is a helpful guide.
Learn to understand your baby’s needs
Books, your pediatrician, your parents, your friends can all give you some advice.
But your baby is the best guide to tell you what he wants, as long as you try to “read” his signs.
When parents dedicate time to their baby, the information they receive helps them, through their own experience, to understand what the baby wants.
Your experience and instinct will help you feed your little one before he is very hungry and put him to sleep before he gets over tired.
Prioritize your baby’s schedule
Trying to implement, as much as possible, the program in our baby, we must have this effort as our priority, especially in the first weeks of the baby.
Avoid deviations from the daily routine of sleep, food, etc.
Changing the schedule for an afternoon certainly does not matter.
But it is better to keep your newborns schedule to help them know what’s coming next.
Wait for it to change as it grows
Your child has made so much progress in his first year!
He has tripled his weight and now he is sitting, getting up, and starting to walk!
In this period of development and still trying to conquer something, do not be surprised if they deviate from their original routine.
He may eat more, need more sleep, or even wake up sometimes at night.
Do not be afraid.
Your child will find his rhythm again, or this may be a sign that you need to reorganize his daily routine.
Adjust their schedule to suit their age
Maybe it’s time to change your little one’s schedule a bit.
As he gets older he will sleep less during the day and play much more.
He will start eating solid food, at first once a day and then many times!
Do not forget that our child’s needs change according to his age.
Do not expect perfect
Many parents think that their baby’s schedule will always work like clockwork.
But even though babies like consistency, you should expect their routine to change as they grow. Sometimes, for some reason, the baby does not want to sleep, is hungrier, wakes up very early, and so on…
Look into Different Childcare Options
If you are single (which you are considering you’ve landed on this post), someone should take care of your baby when you return to work.
You can find many different childcare options for your newborn baby!
Child care resource and referral agencies can serve you in many ways.
They have a flexible communication system: via email, by phone, or in person, if you prefer the traditional way of contact.
You can get relevant information about the services and care they offer you from their websites:
- Head Start and Early Head Start
- Preschool Programs
- Vacation and Summer Child Care Programs
- Care in Your Own Home
- Family, Friend, and Neighbor Care
Meal Plan and Make Simple Freezer Meals
Meal Plans… (here are some freezer meal recipes you’ll love)
“What should I cook today?” The classic question, accompanied by extra stress about the nutritional value of your dishes when they are to be consumed by children.
The diet of children should ideally be based on the Mediterranean diet.
The basic principles of the well-known pyramid are the nutritional model that helps you to be sure that your child eats the necessary foods and in the right proportions.
In other words, children should eat 1 serving of red meat, 2 servings of chicken, 1 serving of fish, 1 serving of pasta, and 2 servings of legumes or oatmeal per week.
In addition, 5 servings of vegetables and fruits and 2-3 servings of dairy should be included in his diet daily.
As for the frequency of meals, 3 + 2 is what you need or otherwise 3 main meals and 2 snacks.
How to be a single mom with a newborn when you have a thousand things on your mind? If you want to save money and time, and at the same time have delicious and healthy meals for your children then the solution is freezing! Otherwise, you will end up feeding your kids junk food or omelets.
There are plenty of printable week meal plan templates on the net. On the link above you can find some of them and choose the one of your preference!
Ask for Help from Friends and Family
Dealing with finances as a single parent can be difficult, but you do not have to deal with it alone.
You should think that there are too many people in the same position as you.
Discuss it with relatives, friends, and professionals and even online through forums, you will find that there are always people who are willing to lend a helping hand.
You have to remember that it is about quantity quality.
Relationships are not about how many friends you have on social media.
The key is to start caring about other people. This is how people start to care about you.
The mutual interest you develop between yourself and others will turn into important conversations that later lead to coffee dates, parties, weekend trips, and movie nights.
Soon you will have a small group of close friends who will send you a message to confirm your presence and you will feel great!
Whatever your choice remember that the main source of inner strength is your child. It is the person that motivates you to become stronger day by day, happier, mentally and physically healthier, so that you can teach him/her a similar attitude to life in the future.
Keep trying and never give up the fight for your rights as a single-parent family.
Children are the future of our society; they deserve all your efforts.
Best single moms support groups
Taking care of a newborn alone might be extremely difficult sometimes.
However, you should not forget that “you are not alone”, and of course that “you are not the only one”! Below are listed the best single mom support groups you can easily find online:
- Single mom support Group
- Parents without Partners
- Meet up
- Single mothers by choice
- The Bump single parents chat
- Single Mom Defined — Facebook
Life is not always easy, but it is worth the trip.
So if you want to become a parent, do not worry at all about how to take care of your baby.
I have not met any mother who did not succeed.
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